Time to say Goodbye

I started this blog when I joined MBA. It has been a roller coaster ride and I have come to love my blog like my own baby that I have seen it grow month after month. However, this was my life as a MBA and well, sadly it's over. I might come back and post more articles but only if they are related to my blog title because lately I have found myself writing more on personal and societal issues than business!

Therefore I have moved my thoughts to a new blog A Collection of Thoughts. I know the name sounds so _____ but well I might change it later. lol. So if you want to continue to know me along my journey do join me here.

Thank you all for your comments, emails and time :)

Alvida....

The worse kind of addiction - TV Addiction

I admit it - I am a TV Addict. Name any channel - movies, soaps (logical one's like Balika Vadhu), news, business news, world news etc. I watch it all. I spend so many hours in front of the TV. I cut my vegetables in front of the TV if I can!! I keep the TV on while I do my cleaning. Kind of tell myself that "Hey, I am not alone, I have company". Worse of all, all my time and energy goes into the TV and I have found myself out of touch at social level, work level, my personal reading time and writing time all zapped by the idiot box which I find not idiotic at all... (Sigh!)

I do remember that once on the way to Burhanpur with my aunt, there was a sage (sadhu) wearing saffron clothes and he was the friendly kind who talked to everyone in the compartment. He talked on politics and why he would not lecture (give gyaan) on TV like other rishi munis because he does not believe in the concept that one can find peace and understanding drinking tea and listening to a sadhu. Yes, I did agree with him. After all spiritually demands as much singular attention as a maths problem. He also said one statement that still remains with me after four years "The worse kind of addiction is not alcohol, or cigarettes or drugs, it's the TV"

Truly, those like me will agree that the TV does steal away your time. I mean what not can we achieve by not watching TV.

One hour of Grey's anatomy - Cook up a great desert that will make your husband happy!!

Two hours of Balika vadhu(2to4) - Read at least 4 chapters on world history that will broaden your perspective and make you 'generally aware'

Too many hours of news - Write up your perspective of what is happening in this world and coming up with ideas that will help solve this challenges

A three hour movie- Go out, check out the fabulous discounts available - you never know when you can get something at a great price!

Ten minutes ad's - Call up a friend or relative and make your relationship warmer

Hmmm, Yes, there are certainly a lot of things one can do (not forgetting working, doing social work, exercising, walking) instead of spending endless hours in front of the TV and becoming an idiot.

Therefore, I am going to make a plan for myself. I am going to restrict my hours to watch only the news and of course one logical well done soap whose concept I like a lot - Balika Vadhu - which is half an hour de-stress time for me and only one hour of news. No more 'scoops' and 'breaking news' every other minute for me.

Here I go....

What attracts us really? The story, the characters or the Magician?

Recently I have watched episodes of 'Sex and the City'. Now many times when I tell people that I have watched these TV programmes or that I have watched 'F.R.I.E.N.D.S', they look at me twice. Most probably coz they see me wearing a veil and wonder what could I really understand from these programmes. On the other hand muslims may rightfully say 'it's a sin' to watch these shows.

Well, I personally think the show 'Sex and the city' is one of the best TV shows -from a narrative point of view (let's forget the concept) but yet, honestly, what makes the show narrative so good? Is it the four good looking successful women who have economic freedom. Ha, let's forget third world terminology, but in lay man's words 'Are rich, successful and beautiful' They sleep around with anyone they want, they don't have parent's or in-laws or children or obligations. Is it their freedom more than their 'adventures' that attract viewers?

I suppose a bit of both. One cannot deny that the makers of 'Sex and the city' and of 'F.R.I.E.N.D.S' are excellent story tellers. They are complimented by a bunch of really good actors and voila! You have a winning combination. The story is based on lives in Manhattan which is where a lot of people dream to want to be. Their story is about friendship, careers, love - the basic raw emotion of a human being.

Then I ask, is it wrong for me to be attracted to such programmes? Yes - I have wasted a number of hours on them whereas I could have read something on politics or come to know the capital city of Rwanda. Secondly, though these programmes have never made me wish to be these characters coz i feel sad for them. Honestly, sad. What I truly enjoyed was the way they are told. The camera angles, the over voice, the good looking actors and their expressions. Amazing! In fact, it makes me wanna get out and make my own movie!

By the way, though my stories blog is centered around muslim characters and our world and way of living, I am also quite capable of writing a secular story. There was a time I had a house full audience of hostel girls as I sat and made them picture a movie that I had made, imagined, scene by scene, with the credits rolling.

I assure you they did not let me have an interval :)

Therefore, a creative person would watch programmes, not because it eptimotises their 'hidden need to be that' or one tempted to this kind of life but simply because it's an enthralling presentation whether good or bad.

And so the magician is not the story or the characters, but the story teller. An artful story teller can take any bit of news, events, imagination and weave up a thread of magic by how he tells the story. Its these magicians that attracts us all to good shows, good books and good blogs.

So the world hates Islam - Accept it.

Wow, that's a statement! The 'Accept it' part comes from a breathing workshop I did where if you cannot change things, then it is better to accept it. Once your emotions stop fighting what is happening then you can clearly think your way out of it.

The question is- is there anyway out of it. It just dawned on me that wow, I mean people really hate muslims and Islam. You notice it everwhere. Unless you are not staying in a Muslim country then you are bound to feel the hostility and in best case a mild pity for you for being Muslim. In fact countries like Pakistan and Bangladesh face it nationally as 'Muslim countries' oh ho ho...keep away!

Its human nature that wherever a person goes or is, wants to be appreciated, respected and looked up. Irrespective of your color, creed or religion. When you don't find it, you move ahead, away and far away. This is a theory applicable everywhere. Whether it is emotional distancing or physical.

Therefore, coming back to my title. I am now accepting the fact that the world hates Islam. By world I mean countries that are not Muslim or those who may have minority Muslims and do not regard them as equal citizens. Though even as I type this, I find it so hard to digest.

'Obama won despite being half-muslim' - Give me a break!!!

Ok now I am truly frustrated and angry at the whole Obama thing. Yeah, sure it's touching that a black guy is a president of a country which happens to be at this time a powerful one. A country that has seen blacks as slaves and third grade citizens.

And a country that shows how much they hate muslims and Islam for everywhere, every column, ever commentator seems to say that despite being half-muslim, his muslim background, his second muslim father, him attending 'madrassa' (O my God was that a terror school??!!!) in Indonesia, his conversion, his claim of never being a muslim!! and just so happened he converted to christianity from no religion. he was before that, i assume an atheist? or do these reports and reporters want him to be rather an athiest or an antagonist turned christian but never muslim turned christian!

How do you think such comments and such writings, one by Arindram chowdhury himself in his paid advertisement where he manages to include an article written by him may be because no one wants to pay him for his opinion, that he says, 'him being half-muslim' what the hell is half muslim??!!! Either you are a muslim or you are not. Are you trying to say that being a muslim is a shit thing?

I wonder whether America would have voted for the so called 'Barack Obama' if he ever put his proper MUSLIM name 'MUBARAK HUSSEIN OBAMA' though he still maintains the meaning of Mubarak - which means blessings - and says Barack means blessing in Swahili! Does he know that Swahili is a mixed language of the African Bantu language + Arabic + Hindi + Portuguese?? Does he know that Swahili's Mubarak is borrowed from Arabic. Would he be ashamed of saying that his name means 'Blessing' in ARABIC?

This is the double standard, on your face 'I HATE ISLAM AND MUSLIMS' by not only the people who campaigned for Obama trying to hide his 'Muslim' background or for the matter of fact the man himself seems ashamed of his paternal side's religion for I have not heard a voice from his mouth saying 'Islam is a good religion. My family are muslims and this should be proof for the world that Muslims are not terrorists' along with his president elect speech 'Tonight is your answer'. No, the guy is equally ashamed mind you. That is the messaged he is clearly sending to his 'Americans'.

Countries like Europe and the rest of the world like today's 'advertised' column clearly shares this belief that the word muslim is assoiciated with 'scum' or just check up your vocabulary and find something more deteriorating.

How does this go down with TRUE AND PROUDLY WHOLE, COMPLETE MUSLIMS? I would say first of all- I AM PROUD TO BE A MUSLIM. Magnify that a zillion times so that you can read it wherever you turn. To be a muslim means to have submitted to your creator. To be loyal and humble and obedient to God. That is what being a muslim means.

Obama has a lot to proove himself being the first black president (Ironically he does not get his 'blackness' from America's African Americans but rather from a Kenyan father who was an exchange student. He is not even complete African American but in the words of his half-muslim description, he can be called half-African American - Howz that?) Well not go to the level of these 'half-people', One can in a way thank God that America is in a recession and the president has his hands full with restoring the economy otherwise idle minds and military makes them think they can wage war on infants trying to produce weapons of mass destruction (what a joke). America has the history of attacking other countries for no reason apart from personal gain than any other. Vietnam - Check. Afganisthan - Check. Iraq - Check. Who in his right frame of mind attacks a WHOLE country with MISSILES to dish out one terrorist hiding in God knows which cave!!! How would America respond if Iraq attacked America because of what terror the American soliders spread in Iraq torturing prisoners, raping women, killing families? Who is the real terrorist?

America - but does the world say anything. No. Nothing.

By America of course I am at least intelligent enough to know that it's those in power, in the chair that take these decisions. What would the poor average middle class working 3 jobs a day American care? or know? or understand what is happening? and the few who do, protest in a rally that is hardly given a heed.

So if you are asking the question if Obama will be good for the world. It depends on which world your are talking of. He is hoping to be good for America and restore the economy which I hope he does. America may be poor now and so may not attack another 'muslim mass destruction weapon making' country. But apart from these, he will hardly make a difference for the muslim world which he and his croonies claim he is not from. And the number of people writing about 'muslims' in bad light will only increase. Muslims feeling isolated more than ever... and who knows another Hitler may arise this time with hatred for 'Muslims'... for if there is gonna be another holocaust, be sure, the burning bodies will be of 'Muslims'.

Tears of Bosnia - I was killed because I was a muslim.

An unbelievable holocaust that I do not think the world knows of unlike Hitler's hatred for jews.

And finally, the pack of cards collapses...

We all are witnessing the downfall of the stock market and the banks going bankrupt and stock markets across the world going down. Now we are slowly hearing the news of how the economy is effected and the demand going down thus effecting the supply->profits->lowering costs->retrenchment of employees->Unemployment.

There was news that a MBA grad family guy killed his family - wife,mom-in-law and 3 kids and later shot himself in San Fransisco because of the financial crisis the global crisis had created in his life or which he let himself be part of his life.

Well what do you expect if you build this so-called financial system on a pack of cards and expect it to last for generations? Like my husband remarked 'There is no fundamental analysis and industrial analysis. It's all fake' It only takes one chip to fall for the entire system to fail.

I think when Bears and Stern's went down, that was the yellow light before the red (Lehman clearly) that all is not well. I don't know how many people deal with derivatives and short selling and all that bunch of gambling but gambling it is. You cannot deny it. Only this is the more glamorous, legal and 'you need to get a degree' to excel it in kind of gambling.

I remember travelling around India during 2005 when the stock market was on a bull's run and everyone was praising the so called aritificial growth of India's GDP. I didn't see any of it on road. There were beggars still on the roads,the trains, people without shoes, people with torn clothes and shouting 'Shoe Polish'. The roads were the same, the villages were the same, the station was the same. If India had really grown, we would have seen it physically.

There have been times over the past few years during the bull's run that I was 'advised' to invest in Mutual funds and that they will grow and all. But somehow in my heart I felt uneasy. I mean ok, I am ready to invest in companies like power, real estate, pharma but then a Mutual fund whether equity or debt always has that small tiny % of investments in debts. Debts->Interest->Haram. So clearly thumb rule was it's not Halal.

So today I have nothing in mutual funds. I have a few shares of a power company and a hotel group before my Demat was frozen and I was asked to make a PAN card to continue trading and I was not interested so for the past 3 years, I have not bought any shares. In a way a blessing in disguise due to my procastination and hesistation. Yes I do look forward to the markets going down to 10000 and then may be I will buy a few IT shares and Gold.

My ideology in buying shares is that.. You are buying a part of a company. You are becoming a partner. And no one goes into any business unless long term, give a shot of at least 2-3 years. I'd like to go for 15 years so all this up's and down's won't matter. After 15 years when I need some funding for example my children's fees then I would sell my stake and hopefully it would be a profitable partnership.

However, this whole gambling bit of trading everyday, running numbers in your head is bullshit. Sorry but I just hate that because if I were to list my company on the market, I would expect some loyalty and not be taken as a company to be used as a football to make some change. I know it is purely sentimental and that is one aspect of the stock market that I do not like. There is always a scam or a downfall in 2-3-5 years. Those engaged in playing are hit the most.

Well the game continues. All is not over yet. This is the beginning of recession. We still have to see job cuts, salary cuts, the real estate has to go down and inflation to remain stable until after the recovery. So how long will this last? Another 2-3 years and then once again, people will start playing with cards and as the cards pile up, everyone will shout: "The bull is back!"

Alvida Yah Shehre Ramazan

Ramadan is coming to an end. What shall I weep for... for the departing of the most beautiful month or for not making the most of it.. not as much as I would have wanted... What shall I celebrate for... for the Eid to say 'Yes, I successfully fasted and prayed and I am now free from sin, InshaAllah'

But Eid for me... marks the going away of a month I love so much and Eid for me is so sorrowful till I actually say Allahu Akbar Allahu Akbar and the Eid takbira's ring in my ears... The month does not end the praising of my Lord, but in truth, we shall continue doing so... till InshaAllah next Ramadan and there our hearts will joyfull welcome the Shehre of Ramadan... Allahuma haza Shehre Ramadan

And inshaAllah I shall live between these two praying, waiting, preparing for next Ramadan.

Take Time To Pray

I got up early one morning and rushed into the day;
I had so much to accomplish that I didn't have time to pray

Problems just tumbled about me, and heavier came each task;
"Why doesn't God help me?" I wondered. He answered, "You didn't ask."

I wanted to see joy and beauty, but the day toiled on, gray and bleak;
I wondered why God didn't show me. He said. "But you didn't seak".

I tried to come into God's presence, I used all my keys to unlock;
God gently and lovingly chided, "My child, you didn't knock."

I woke up early this morning and paused before entering the day;
I had so much to accomplish but I had to take time to pray.

By Mohammed Sharay Ali.

Lailatul-Qadr

As the last ten days of Ramadan approach I can't help but wish that I return back to my childhood days. The days where we wouldn't fast but then we started fasting and started competing with each other as to how many fast one did.

It started with 15 when we were 7 years and then 18 and then 20 and then 22 and then all 30 by 11 years. On Eid, gifts would be given to children who fasted more than 20 fasts. Unlike one mulasaheb from India came and said that children are not obligated to fast and one should not entice them with gifts. He announced that 'those gifts' were given just like that. LOL well whatever. I think it was a real good habit of encouraging children to fast because once they come of age and they have to fast, it's nothing new. It's norm.

I also miss Laylatul-Qadr. Commomerated on the 23rd Night of Ramadan Kareem, we would hurry for iftar and there is a break of two hours where people get to rush back home, were their finest clothes, get their finest tasbhi and masala, women would gorge themselves with all the gold they have and children would show off their pretty new dresses. It was a fashion parade.

Later on as I grew up, I realised that Lailatul Qadr didn't start at 10.30 pm where all the faithful gathered to pray the whole night. It starts with the maghrib prayer, from sunset to sunrise!! we wasted precious moments from around 6.30 to 10.30 pm. Ok may until 8 its ok where you have prayers and iftar but the whole thing of going home to get 'Fancy Dressed' seemed material and irrelevant to me.

So I wore my 'best' dress at maghrib itself to be ready for the night of power. I would take my Quran Shareef and after Iftar, when people rushed home again, I sat in masjid or markas and read the Quran. I saved around 2 and 1/2 hours of worship.

Contrast this me to the 10 year old me. I used to look forward to Lailatul Qadr, the night the Holy Book of God was revealed, (and i never thought of it like that) I looked forward to my packet of imported chocolates and nuts and I looked forward to eating them all night long and to play with the other kids in the compound of the masjid. The Golden rule for the night was only one: DON'T FALL ASLEEP else you will not get the blessings.

I miss decorating the masjid after iftar before 10.30 pm when everyone would come. I miss the colorful paper and the Posters with Names of Allah, I miss twisting party paper and writing the surah Al-Qadr on the wall of Masjid. I miss all of us friends rushing to see how beautiful the masjid was decorated or competing that they ACTUALLY new how to read Surah-Al Qadr.

I miss those innocent days. When I was 5 and I slept coz I couldn't keep awake. But i boasted the next day that hey, i was awake till 2 am!! I miss not going to school the next day but sleeping and feeling all googy and foogy.

Yes, But most of all, I miss the innocence. I miss my state of mind and my state of heart that I had as a child. Where I knew who was my God and my Messenger and my present leader.

Where I did not read so much history of Islam or did not question some and trouble over some, where i was blissfully ignorant of life, of men, of greed, of calamities, of hardwork, of expectations, of responsibilities

and yes, of the importance of the Night of Power.

For it was days of fun, days looked forward to meeting friends in the masjid, of play, of prayers... and of chocolates till Eid.

For the adult me, is just too serious.

I passed

I just saw my results and I passed!! Phew! I thought i was gone in one or two or all finance subjects but like a miracle, I passed.

My grades are not so great but hey, I passed!!! What else would have I wanted?

and i got a 93% on my rural marketing documentary. the one thing that I actually worked hard and achieved.

Allah Taala gave me the formula of life. I discovered it when i was in High school

Amount of reward you get = Amount of hardwork you put in.

I remember how much I put in my documentary and I see the fruits.
I have always, Alhamdullilah seen it in all the subjects that I have put the effort.

I am very glad and very thankful.

Another plus is that I passed my first year M.A in Journalism exams too. Not so great marks. Average I would say. That shows that the board is quite strict on the marking. I put in around 10-12 hrs (which is 4 hours of good studying and 1/2 hour of great studying). But I have come to a formulae for it..
Read one chapter a day.. not only will i enjoy my studies but my the year end, I will be able to 'Revise' and not 'Discover' what my subjects are.

But now.. main thing on my agenda is getting a job. So pls pray for me that I get a job that is good for me.. for my faith, my world and my hearafter. its so scary and i don't want to compromise on my faith. I haven't so far and InshaAllah, may I never see that day.

Ramadan Mubarak to one and all. Please do remember me in your prayers.

This blog will be winded up soon.. its still open as I have to conclude my thesis and then finally, my life as a MBA student will be over and done. And then what? is the multibillion dollar Qs :)

Allah Hafiz.

Thomas J Bata

My husband did his internship in Czech Republic and a few days back he asked me if I knew the parent country of Bata. "USA?" I guessed. "No. Its Czech." He replied. "No kidding", I exclaimed. I was quite surprised. I did not think Czech could have given birth to one of the largest shoe store around the world.

Therefore, while studying at the IIM library when I saw the autobiography of Thomas J Bata, I picked it up and was engrossed instantly in the beginning of the Bata empire, Europe, world wars and Hilter's regime.

I learnt a lot of good stuff- how boarding and prep school can do good to a young man in the making of a leader. Travelling, learning different languages, not being afraid to open shop in foreign lands or be afraid of wars and your home being taken away from you. No being scared to make another country your abode.

His book has made me think, that truly human nature is ranked. There are men who have the ability, the flare, the character to achieve big things. There are men destined to be big because of their blood. They are born in families who have instilled in them values and traits. Bloodline is not just about the name or the dna, but it is the upbringing and attitude of the elders that go to their young ones that make's them achieve what they have.

I must say that I am totally impressed by Thomas J Bata's life and his zest at this age of over seventy. Yet, like I said, some people are destined to be born great and to achieve great things. The world can't be filled with Bata's but the world definitely needs at least a 100 of them to make it better.

How about a MFI that gets funds online and gives backs profits!!

Things are getting interesting. I am finally moving ahead and reading and studying about microfinance and finding a few new answers to my kind of ideal MFI.

What I discovered today while searching on the net is about an organisation kiva.org. What kiva does is that it has tied up with MFIs around the world. They provide the details on the microenterprenuers who need funding and kiva gets these directly from online users like you and me. Kiva gives the funds to the MFIs and the MFIs gives it to the microenterpreneurs. In return kiva gets reports on repayment of loans and passes it on to the lenders.

Kiva is an NPO so it seems for their cost, they get their operation cost through donations. I wonder how that is possible: running a well technical website, partnering with so many MFIs?

Apart from these if an MFI wants to register with kiva it has to be eligible:

1. Have 1000 active borrowers
2. History of lending 2-3 years
3. Registered as a legal entity in the country of operation
4. 1 year of financial audits
5. Preferred: have a profile on Mix Market (www.mixmarket.org)

What I liked about Kiva:

I like this whole concept of it being a microfinance ebay kind of website where you can choose enterpreneurs from around the world. I also liked that they take in MFIs with at least 2-3 years of experience and one that is legally registered.

But as a lender do not think that you are going to earn profits from lending. No, its a kind of charity that you give and the amount comes back to you after a few months and then you can decide either to give it again or keep it.

The profits goes to the MFI or rather I should say the interest goes to the MFI. And kiva, as i read takes no part of it. It is simple doing the charity work of providing normal people a platform to donate(lend). Somehow i quite don't believe in it. There must be some form of fees they charge to the MFIs who are on their site. There are no free lunches remember?

But yeah, the concept of a site getting people to contribute to specific enterprenuers really strikes well.

Thinking of this, how about an MFI that directly opens a kiva kind of site displaying all the potential enterpreneurs and get the donations directly from the lender. In turn the lender not only gets his money back but also profit on it!! and in case of loss the lender just gets his principal amount and the cost of operation is bore by the MFI!! Sounds excellent doesn't it?

Well see how well writing brings out the creativity, albeit helped ;) so yes i would put that as a proposition on getting the funds. It may be slow for any starter MFI but with time and with honesty and transparency and by giving profits to its lenders, it can succeed!! The lenders will be constantly given reports on the progress of their enterprenuer and it will definitely attract a lot of people even those who donate on kiva as unlike kiva who gives you the information and the way to give a loan, here you get profits on the amount you loan.

Remember I keep mentioning profits because interest limits the earnings of an interest charging institution, but profits, do not. The contra side is that there is tremendous risk involved because being a small busimess and assuming that the person we are lending to is no savvy Ratan Tata or Ambani, there is a likelihood that he might not be able to make profits.

That's where an MFI comes in and sees to it that only those client files that have a potential of making a profit make it to the website to minimize the chances of no profit or loss.

With that thought I shall continue my reading...

Bad at my thesis!

I have to be honest that I have not been paying enough attention to my work for the past few months.

As I mentioned earlier that I was and am still interested in doing my thesis in Microfinance. I just read about how this microfinance bank in Mexico compartusbanco issued an IPO and has over 53% profit and how Prof. Yunus of the Grameen Bank is against another money lender in the disguise of Microfinance is out there exploiting the poor.

Now I read somewhere that it helps in your thesis that you just write down what comes to your mind and then later structure it. The best place to write is my blog! So these are just my views and thoughts and they are likely to be changed, bettered and polish with time but I need to clear of my head and start thinking so here it goes.

I am strictly against interest. be it 1% or 100%. I feel in today's age we just cannot avoid interest. It has become a vicious snake in our lifes. Turn anywhere and there is interest involved. Even in a simple credit or debit card! Either you get or you give.

My views on interest is obviously firstly rooted because of my religious beliefs that interest is not allowed.

Secondly, it is supported by the various examples I have read and seen, personally am afraid in my family and also of family friends who feel they can take a loan and get it repaid irrespective of all the other economic conditions and risks.

We have heard enough stories about how money lenders have exploited the poor with usurous interest rates and our own Indian farmers killing themselves when they fail to repay.

Therefore, I absolutely abhor, hate, loathe and all the similiar synonyms when it comes to interest!

So my idea behind my thesis, it may sound like a fairy tale, it may be rebuked, it may draw critism and many will say 'Oh that's simply impossible' is that I want to build a new model of microfinance based on the concept of profit and loss sharing.

What happens here is that you enter a partnership with the working poor and give them the funds, they put in the efforts and both of you share the expected profits on a preagreed profit and loss sharing ratio.

Example:

I give a microenterpreneur Rs 10000. We agree that he will purchase goods and trade them for a profit margin of say 20%. So he should earn around 2000 as profit.

I as the capitalist will take 30% and as he has put in the effort, he takes 70%.

AND.. very importantly, in case he fails or is unable to make profit, I do not charge him anything. no interest, no name-it-what-you-want fees.

All I want back is my capital. So he has to return only the principal amount.

Now the advantages of such a model would be that we would have more people coming forward, being confident to borrow money. Successful enterprenuers who know they have a good chance to make profit would not hesistate to come front as they are getting 70% of the profits with no interest involved!!

Now as good as this model sounds, I do know the limitation.

Pschologically- anybody can come and take the loan and how truthful can a microenterprenuer (a vegetable seller or a small trader) when it comes to the true amount of profits he has made. Isn't it much simpler to just charge him a fixed interest rate and how he makes his profit is his headache.

Yes, these thoughts are there at the back of my mind, but I rather be an optimistic than a pessimistic.

Surely, there is a way out there. There is a way that we can monitor and control our risks.
I just need to find out what it is.

Secondly, as far as the value of my thesis goes, as my guide tells me, who will be willinging to buy your thesis, the first thing that comes to my mind is anyone and everyone who is against interest!

We can have investors come together and show the world, that this world economy can run smoothly without having interest in it.

If a 100 people join hands and put in Rs 10000, we have Rs 1000 000 to start with!

Like I said, these are my thoughts as and when they come to my mind and I will be posting them so that I can refer back and may be get a few ideas from my readers.

15 days to complete my MBA?!

That is the deadline I have given myself. Why? Coz my family is coming down and I do not want to be bogged down by studies. But I am also happy that my parents will finally be with me! They are my strength and inspiration and I am so looking forward to having them here. I just know that everything will be alright.. back to high school once my parents are here.

My MA exams start on 26th May and I have a deadline of 31st for my Thesis (my own deadline) and well life couldn't be more busier. I have been bad at blogging coz I don't know what to write about these days. But I just read something about write... just write.. even though nothing comes to my head right now.. its good to write and keep your brain and fingers busy on the keyboard. Besides the good thing is.. my blog is hardly read by anyone..hehehe.

Well so I look forward to having my family with me and just having them with me. Things are looking great apart and all is fine.. The only thing need to make it perfect is - work!

So that is what I am off to do...

Musings over a slice of sandwich

I tried out a new recipe. Ribbon Sandwich. My rating: 2/10.

It's actually three slices of bread with three different coatings. Tomato sauce, cheese/potato and coconut chutney. What went wrong? I ran out of tomato sauce and really didn't feel its taste. The potatoes was under boiled, the coconut chutney has less lemon and more salt and finally the bread just didn't toast. Let's just say not a very good start.

But its nice to eat something different :) May be next time I will make it better. InshaAllah (God Willingly).

Apart from that my studies are going up and down and left and right. My thesis on micro finance is yet to take off while my MA studies are still at writing skills. There there is the usual vocab and maths and reading of newspapers that crowds the life of a MBA. To remain on top. There is also a sense of 'Shouldn't I start attending interviews now?' and then there is just me who wants to sit back with a good game and have a ball.

So well with such crumbled thoughts I move on. My last post was a little sensitive that warranted calls from many asking me 'What happened' and from someone thinking it was the person 'How dare you write like this' haha... well, I had a heart to heart talk with the person and all air cleared out.

Therefore, don't worry.. chill madi. :)

Negative Comments

I have been blessed enough to have had positive people around me for a long time. Last four years? Before that I had a miserable time for a year because I had chosen to be with people who gave me pain. The last four years have been peaceful. I have discovered new friendships that have given me hope and faith.

Therefore, it pushed me off completely when I encountered a negative person. Well not negative person but negative thoughts and when I got thinking, I was like - Hey! Isn't the person itself bitter and angry at it's life? Some people expect you to live your life according to how they wish. B******! When my parents have given me enough respect and confidence to go ahead and live my own life why the h*** should any other Tom, Dick and Harry tell me stuff to make me feel bad!

What hurts more is when you have been close friends and have always looked towards each other for support and kind words that lift your spirit. When such a close friend makes snide and sarcastic remarks- it pinches the heart. A total stranger could say a thousand more mean and ugly stuff but that wouldn't hurt you as much as a remark by a dear one. Then you realise that this person who adored you unconditionally has actually started judging you. Human nature, you start judging back. My judgement was not a good one. Thinking of how the person behaves with it's people and how it's boast about itself and how perfectly organised and disciplined it is. I admit, I am ashamed of myself but I can't help it. Human vibes.

Therefore, the last two days were rather miserable in the company of a sarcasm machine. I have controlled myself to avoid a showdown. Now I know what is patience! and why the person who can control his anger- the strongest. What I need to work on is my facial expression. Neutral for all hurt, pain and anger. I don't know whether this entry makes sense or is even worth putting on my blog but it's a reminder for me that one day even your best friends can turn against you. This can be due to any difference of opinion or set of believes.

It is better not to have such people in life. Life may be lonely but at least it won't be miserable. Unless ofcourse, you have the patience to endure it and listen from one ear and throw it away from the other.

I'm a Spoilt Brat!

That is the realisation and brand identity that I have dawned to. Look at me- I live independently, eat whatever I want, sleep whenever I want, work as per my whims, have my own vehicle and a good set of friends that keep me happy. My relatives pamper me with sweets and calls to see that I am OK. I on the other hand sit back, stretch my lazy back and hug my teddy! (Though I am not the teddy hugging kind of girls but you have to admit it's heart warming to have a fluffy little thing and cuddle up with it)

I watch as this world goes by- I see men and women wake up early, finish off their chores, take the morning bus or ride their way to work in the horrendous Bangalore traffic, face a day with numbers or in front of the computer ranking their heads, others shout over the counters and keep dialing only to get an irritated 'I'm not interested!' BANG! While many of my gender members are busy from dawn to dusk cleaning and cooking and again cooking. Some like it, most of them do it mundanely as though they were born as machines with only that sole program.

Therefore, I consider myself super blessed that I don't have to face any of that - not yet at least. Today I am apne maan ki malika. However, there is stress. Life without stress is unimaginable. Being thankful is default for all the good things we have in life - but stress never leaves us. Some who are very busy suffer hypo tension and some like me Hypertension. Why is life so smooth?!
I know this entry hardly makes any sense. It's not supposed to. It's a thought creeping in my mind that found its way being typed and posted. But I now truly agree with my sister- I am a spoilt brat :)

Love... is a connection

This is the definition I got from the movie 'Matrix Revolutions'. It got me thinking about love and all the people in this world who love me and whom I love. In other words all those who have connections to me and I have a connection to.

The first connection I think of is that between God and me. I believe in God and I truly love Him. I know that I am not perfect. In fact I am far from perfect. There are a thousand things about me that I can point out myself and declare I am definitely not an ideal worshipper. Yet, it is the connection. The love that keeps me, holds me, knowing no matter what I cannot imagine life without my Lord, My creator.

The second one is of my parents. To be loved unconditionally, through sickness and in health and beyond death is love given to us by our parents. Think of all the times we have caused them pain and unhappiness yet they always want us to be happy and will do anything for us. They agree to our friends, our rules, our choices... They know when we are happy or sad and sometimes when you least expect it, you get a call just to be asked 'Are you alright?' A time when you really needed them.

and so comes the connections we have with our siblings. we play, fight and may be even scream at each other but we are the first person to stand up for them when anyone ever dares to point a finger. We are the first ones to boast about their achievements. In private we may whisper to each other 'Rascal!' but then 'She's a darling' and we mean it - both of them!

Friendship- a connection where once established it's forever. Even though there may not be traffic for a long time. I read somewhere that if you have had five true friends in life, your life has been worth living.

It love, this connection that keeps people together. Had we been logical and rational, we would have been like machines. Programmed to do some tasks and to do it with perfection else we would risk being deleted. Why is it that in spite of so many hang-ups, our parents never delete us neither do our friends or professors when we submit a sub-standard assignment? A line from the movie 'A beautiful mind' where at the end of the movie when Prof. Nash wins the Nobel prize, (i don't remember the exact line) he mentions something that its in the reason of love which one cannot figure out where everything lies. That was the best moment of the movie!

What got me thinking all this? The reason that no matter how imperfect I may be, I have 'connections' that tell me despite my logical flaws that I am a wonderful machine and they wait patiently for me to realise it and to wake up to it.

I Love Mumbai!

I returned last night from my favorite vacation spot - Mumbai. I know many of you will say "What?! Mumbai? People want to get away from Mumbai. What attracts me to Mumbai is the fast life. Agree that everyday it might get on your nerves but I don't mind. I like the trains, the road side food, the shopping and marine drive. I can spend a whole day sitting at Marine drive just watching the water and the sun come down.

This time I got the chance to go to Elephanta caves. Its an hours boat ride from the Gateway of India. There is an ancient temple of Shiva Parvati with a number of Lingas. Its got it's name from the shape of a rock that resembles an elephant. There isn't much to see unless you are interested in history, mythology and archaeology. After seeing the 4-5 caves, we went for a long track to cannon hill. It's a 15 minutes climb from where you can have a good view. There is a cute toy train that gets you from the boat jetty to the caves end. Good number of stalls filled with souvenirs and restaurants that charge Rs.5-20 more. It's best to take a picnic basket and go with a whole bunch of friends and family. Enjoy the boat ride and the trekking.

On Sunday we went to Essel world and it's pretty decent. Comparing it to Wonder la of Bangalore, Wonder la has good rides. I found Essel world's rides made for the common man and not the adventurous. It offers a good experience to those who hate heights. The facilities provided are also good. The kiosks offer reasonable food at common rates. If you are not a fan of loud music that burst your ears, get out of there by 5.00 pm before the Essel World Tonite program starts. It's nothing but brain throbbing rain dancing on speakers that made me just nauseous. I can't stand loud noise and no base for me! Essel world has speakers around the park with the radio on. A drawback for those who want some peace and quite and enjoy the parks greenery but there are some spots music free.

Shopping- I got bags and bags and bags until my friends thought I had gone mad. They were good bags that I would pick in a mall at Rs.500- Rs. 1500. I was getting them dirt cheap! Besides I am lazy to shop in Bangalore. I got enough shopping to fill two bags and I am keeping put for the next two years. (Unless of course I find something again ;) Seriously, Mumbai is the place to shop especially Nakuda Mohalla near VT station. It has amazing stuff at great rates. Then there is fashion street where you can pick up good t-shirts and pants between Rs.100-250.

I also caught the movie 'Race' at Eros theater, Church gate.
No 1. I can't understand since when do directors like Abbas Mustan need to show skin to get people to watch their movie.
No 2. It's filled with songs every other minute when one just wants the story to move on
No 3. The songs are all club songs- No variety at all
No 4. The movie has enough twists to get you to say 'Enough!'
Miss this movie, it's not worth your time.

My vacation ended Jab we met style. Taxi to the station to catch my train. I had to change trains at Dadar to go to Kurla and from there to Lokmanya Tilak to catch my Coimbatore express. Dadar was filled with a sea of people and running up and down with 40kg bags made me feel like I am in the last scene of Titanic with people running around up and down. Got into a taxi and reached just on time. What can I say 'Aaj tak meri ek bhi train miss nahi huwi hain!' :)

Finally I am here, back to home sweet home. Amazing Easter vacation in Mumbai, as enchanting/exciting as ever.