It's time to make a choice...

Yesterday I 'think' I had a panic attack. This is because I was standing in the middle of the kitchen looking for something... I don't know what and I was like real scared. I suppose it's the tension of the reports I have to make. I think it's a 'perfection disorder' or something... and of course a 'delay disorder'. I got up at 5.00 am to give it a shot but after prayers I just couldn't sit. This time it was not mental but physical. My back was acting funny and even dinner became a problem for me! I just couldn't sit without feeling uncomfortable.

I seriously have to start some sport. Anything for now I don't want to became 52 instead of 25. I am at the peak of my adulthood! I should be running around the world with my back pack instead of lying down on the bed trying to make my report! What am I? Some retired oldie?! Its 4.oo p.m and I am feeling exhausted! (Thankfully I can type ;) )

We learnt an interesting concept in Production Management. "How much can a man work?". Professor explained the various techniques used to calculate the time it takes to get work done in the factory - both for products and services. This has got me thinking... How much work can one really do? Is it 4 hours? or 6? or 8 or 12 or 16? Today, with India emerging as the next big economy, the metros and the cities have became a 16 hour job cycle. Out of 16 hours that one is 'supposed' to work, how many hours is actually 'productive'. I personally believe it is humanly impossible for an individual to work using his brain for 16 hours. Once in a while, that is fine but everyday?! The poor man is going to crack down sooner a later. Work is a huge part of our life, but it is NOT life.

If you want a successful company, you need happy and successful employees and customers. To get a happy employee, you have to take care of him not only from his job perspective but his overall growth. Nowadays MNCs (Multi National Companies) keep aside a room which they call 'They gym' or 'The recreation center', yet do they ensure that the employees get the chance, get the TIME to go there? Usually the employee is kept so busy that he forgets the geography of the company and remembers just his cabin.

I do understand that a company has to meet targets. Therefore, a lot of planning is done, schedules are laid. so if the life of an employee is not being balanced, then it is obvious the issue lies at the top level management. There is a defect in the strategy and in fact the whole 'Vision and Mission' of a company if they expect to exploit their very own people.

Thankfully, I have not encountered 'Cruel' managers personally. I know they are there. I have seen them, I have observed them. I know how greedy and mean they are but thankfully, My immediate manager has been a good one so I have been in a way always 'Protected' from the mean bad world. What I can't stand, is seeing my fellow colleagues being used! Being shouted at! being embarrassed in front of their colleagues. What to managers think they are? God? Especially middle level management!

A lot of these thoughts have been running through my mind. I will be leaving my cozy nest and venturing into the 'Big bad world' in less than a year. What is it that I want? Where is it that I want to go? What kind of people do I want to work with? Do I want to work 16 hours so that I can afford a car or do I want to work 9 hours and commute by bus. Do I want to work under someone? If yes, who is that someone? What is it that I want to work for? I want to leave something concrete behind. I don't want my life to be wasted on doing something that will have no benefit to human kind, to this world that God has created for us to develop.

I don't want to sale cosmetics to the 'upper uppers' or work in a financial institution that promotes speculation which has destroyed the lives of millions of 'investors'. There is one thing that has come to my attention which I find cause worthy. That is Micro finance. This is one industry that has shifted focus to the less-fortunate. Today we have banks like ICICI and CITIBANK calling you every now and then, "Mam, would you like to avail a personal loan of Rs.20,000?" Yet, a poor widow, who needs money for the funeral rites of her husband is refused by all major banks simply because there is little guarantee of repayment.

I am still studying the Micro finance industry in India and I admire Vipul Ahuja of SKS Micro finance who has not only succeeded in the field but has helped thousands of poor women through his micro finance structure.

There are always pros and cons while selecting your career. After 12th Std, I had to choose between Medicine and Computer science. I had seen enough T.V. programmes to know that the life of a doctor was miserable. I read 'The river and the source' and got to know doctors don't sleep for 36 hours at a go! No ways! I opted out. Thankfull, for now, even the smell of disinfectants disturb me. Especially after my bike accident few years ago. No, I was not meant to be a doctor.

After completing graduation, I didn't want to work 16 hours like the software engineers do here. They go to work at 8.00 am and come back home at 10.00 p.m., I mean that is o.k. while you are a bachelor, living away from home and may be for a year or two, but then what? Are you going to do that all your life? One moves ahead to the next phase of life - Marriage and children. Imagine never getting a chance to go to the annual school day of your son because you had a release?

I know it's happening and millions are living this life. However, Life is a choice! It's our choice to live like this. It's our choice to put pressure in our lives. I had a choice and I choose not to join the industry. A good thing for I was an average programmer. I got the work done, but I had no passion for it neither did I enjoy it.

And now.. Here I am. Back to the question of what I want. What choice should I make. Should I join a corporate that pays me a six digit salary and takes from me my life in totality, or should I join an industry I believe in, I believe that is out to help, that is out to make a difference. The pay would be less. Far less, may be not even 4 digits. Should I forgo my car? Should I forgo this AC room and a personal P.C. for days under the hot village sun?

Most importantly, do I have the confidence that "I" can make a difference? Do I have the capability? Do I have the ability?

A lot of questions for which I still search answers