Should I be someone else?

"Should I be someone else?"

This is a question I am sure many of us have asked at least once every year. Today I am not really asking the question because, Alhamdullilah (Praise to God) I'm quite content with who I am (Apart from the constant fight with time management and infinite others).

However, when you come across someone who speaks at a higher tone that yours and is so full of opnions as to how people should be, should live, should dress and talk, you start comparing yourself with their set of criteria and then Screeech! Hello, this person is probably one of the most insecure person hiding behind the face of 'Attitude' and why am I listening??!!

I have noticed that there are a lot of such people and the best way to handle them is 'Cool indifference'. You give them the feeling that you are least interested in what they think and do, they stop bothering you with their 'Opinions'. Indifference is a very strong tool. It's neither a rude nor a 'walk-over-me' response. It just tells the person that look, here is a person who is interested in something else. What I do and think is not her problem.

I do agree that there are times when I feel I should be more outgoing, more outspoken, if someone tries to be cheeky with me -> I be triple cheeky ;) but then what will I get? A momentary victory that 'Hey, buddy don't think you can get smart with me' while inevitably I would have hurt his/her feelings. God help me coz I end up feeling bad if I have demeaned a person or brought him down to earth from his hi5 thoughts. So not for his peace, but rather for mine, I leave them alone. Of course some of them think, this girl has no fighting spirit - You are right. I don't want to fight with your satan. I am struggling enough with mine.

My resolution - I am happy to be who I am. I hope to make improvements coz I'm anyways my own worse critic. I don't like the way I write, I don't like the way I study, I don't like the way I pray and .... At each point I say 'This is not you, you can do better. Or this is terrible. Shame on you. Or what the hell is wrong with you!" What more could you want from a poor soul like me :)