If anyone of you still thought that India was still traditional and maintained it’s culture especially when it comes to ‘No love between boys and girls’, welcome to the new India, not only urban but rural as well.
Seven years back when I started my degree studies’, talking to a guy friend was frowned upon. Having a group of friends was fine but you shouldn’t be particularly attached to anyone and complete no-no to private calls, meetings etc.
Today, it’s the in-thing to talk about your boyfriend. Descriptive graphics of how the fairy tale began and what are the hurdles that the two have to face – clash in castes, in languages, in religions. How the two meet secretly if they are staying with their parents and how openly they go out if they live in hostel.
During my college days, we used to frown upon the girl flirt. The girls doing their masters were addressed as ‘Didi’ – sister and they used to take care of the first years, fresh out of home. If they found some guy talking too much to a girl, they would talk to her indirectly and give her hints- just because she was away from home and found new freedom, she didn’t have to go the bad way.
Indian upright women are traditional, uphold their culture, their religion, are hardworking in their studies and profession, have good friends and settle for a partner their parents would be happy with. They marry the man their parents select for them, with their approval of course (I’m talking about the positive scenario assuming no coercion); having a boyfriend is beneath them. It’s illicit and it does not go well on the values that they have been brought up on.
After all, if having a boyfriend was an okay thing, then why would the girls hide it from their parents? Why would they feel out of place among good girls who have a clean background? Why the sudden sense of shame when their elders find out about it? Why all the justifications they need to make as to why they have a boyfriend. Why the doubts that they may/ may not marry their boyfriend?
At the moment though, the tables are turning. These forward girls are proud they have someone to call them, pay for their bills and supplement their pocket money. They show off that they are hotter, more in demand then those who don’t have one. They boast of how they met and how he proposed and what all they do. Some girls ditch men regularly and think of them as past-times. ‘Honey, show me the money’ is an unconscious selection criteria.
Observing the girls who have boyfriends, one tends to notice how easy it is for the girls to lie, to go green with envy, to not trust other girls, to have false pride and gossip! They can gossip from anything to everything. The tantrums they throw and the attention they constantly crave. It amazing that their boyfriends don’t see through them. But then these men themselves are of questionable character.
Seven years back when I started my degree studies’, talking to a guy friend was frowned upon. Having a group of friends was fine but you shouldn’t be particularly attached to anyone and complete no-no to private calls, meetings etc.
Today, it’s the in-thing to talk about your boyfriend. Descriptive graphics of how the fairy tale began and what are the hurdles that the two have to face – clash in castes, in languages, in religions. How the two meet secretly if they are staying with their parents and how openly they go out if they live in hostel.
During my college days, we used to frown upon the girl flirt. The girls doing their masters were addressed as ‘Didi’ – sister and they used to take care of the first years, fresh out of home. If they found some guy talking too much to a girl, they would talk to her indirectly and give her hints- just because she was away from home and found new freedom, she didn’t have to go the bad way.
Indian upright women are traditional, uphold their culture, their religion, are hardworking in their studies and profession, have good friends and settle for a partner their parents would be happy with. They marry the man their parents select for them, with their approval of course (I’m talking about the positive scenario assuming no coercion); having a boyfriend is beneath them. It’s illicit and it does not go well on the values that they have been brought up on.
After all, if having a boyfriend was an okay thing, then why would the girls hide it from their parents? Why would they feel out of place among good girls who have a clean background? Why the sudden sense of shame when their elders find out about it? Why all the justifications they need to make as to why they have a boyfriend. Why the doubts that they may/ may not marry their boyfriend?
At the moment though, the tables are turning. These forward girls are proud they have someone to call them, pay for their bills and supplement their pocket money. They show off that they are hotter, more in demand then those who don’t have one. They boast of how they met and how he proposed and what all they do. Some girls ditch men regularly and think of them as past-times. ‘Honey, show me the money’ is an unconscious selection criteria.
Observing the girls who have boyfriends, one tends to notice how easy it is for the girls to lie, to go green with envy, to not trust other girls, to have false pride and gossip! They can gossip from anything to everything. The tantrums they throw and the attention they constantly crave. It amazing that their boyfriends don’t see through them. But then these men themselves are of questionable character.
The trend is high in the north and picking up in the south. Today’s 60% of India’s population is getting affected by the western values. Though some still think arranged marriage is better they constitute of a small number of youth. Media, magazines have gradually influenced India’s youth – Media itself has changed from the conservative covers to nude pictures even on daily affairs magazines like India Today. Movies have become sick double meaning films with sodomy jokes the latest flavor.
In rural India, the boys and girls are maturing fast. The misconception that since they are least exposed to the media doesn’t mean they are naïve. As told by a friend of mine, in the villages, the illicit relationships start from 5th standard!! I nearly fell from my chair.
Is this a cause to worry? Will India in another 20 years become another west where the chances of a marriage succeeding after years of living in, is 50%? Will every third child be illegitimate and cities flock with single mothers?
Will being honest to your parents cease and will the Indian values that have survived for so many generations start depleting with this new generation?
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